Thank You! Seriously!!
A quick side note that I finally (after about 6 months or so) got around to announcing my Substack on LinkedIn. And was somewhat surprised to see that there were a lot of students (okay, some of us are pretty slow on the uptake) active on LinkedIn. However, there were quite a few new subscribers (probably about thirty or so) and I heard from a few former students doing great things out in the world. Kind of a win-win for us older professors to know that we didn’t totally screw them up (maybe just a little bit 😃) when they were taking classes from us. So, to all the new subscribers…thanks! I hope you enjoy the ride and remember — the price is right (FREE)! Anyone out there feel like catching me up on how you are doing, you can always reach out to me at kevinbracker@gmail.com or just reply on here. And seriously, having heard from a few students, it’s always a great bonus to hear from more…so don’t hesitate to reach out and say hello!
Cancer Update
Yes, I’m guessing these are getting a little old, but bear with me a bit. That said, we are ebbing ever-closer to the end of radiation as we’re down to just under 7 more sessions remaining (a touch over a week due to the weekend). Woot-woot!! Then they’ll up the chemo dose a bit for the stretch run. However, that should be more of a week on and a few weeks off. So far the standard occasionally tired, but mostly enough energy to hit the treadmill a bit (walking, not running) and getting in 4-5 miles about 4-5 days a week. Yes, we’re going a wee bit slower than ultra pace (although maybe not too much slower than a 100 mile race…especially near the end 👨🦯), but still getting something done.
Okay, time to get on with the show!
Tips to Being a Better Human
Even if you skip through the following, be sure to jump to the last paragraph and read it. The following may be our goal, but is probably a bit unrealistic. We’re only human.
Care More About Getting To Correct Than Being Correct
One tip is to work on getting the correct answer…even if that means admitting that you’re wrong. It is not a weakness to change your mind. As a matter of fact, it is a strength to change your mind.
“When the facts change, I change my mind - what do you do, sir?”
― John Maynard Keynes
Let me borrow a few thoughts from Adam Grant (and if you have time, be sure to check out his book “Think Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don’t Know”) for today’s update.
We learn more from people who challenge our thought process than those who affirm our conclusions. Strong leaders engage their critics and make themselves stronger. Weak leaders silence their critics and make themselves weaker. This reaction isn’t limited to people in power. Although we might be on board with the principle, in practice we often miss out on the value of a challenge network.
Don’t hesitate to hang out with people who will challenge your thought process. It’s great to be “right”, but it’s even better to stay right…even if it means changing your thought process. There are multiple reasons why your view could be wrong. The first, and most obvious, is that you just made a (gasp!) mistake. Guess what? It happens to all of us. I remember way back when I was learning finance and a common chart to illustrate diversification looked something like this
The idea is that the red line represents the returns to Stock A and the green line represents the return to Stock B (obviously exaggerated). The graph may have changed some since then (we have to go WAY into the way-back machine for this one).
Yep, 1995…even a bit further. Anyway, my thought on this graph was “So, buy Stock B initially as it climbs, then sell it and buy Stock A once B hits it’s peak, then sell it and buy Stock B…” (without even realizing that buying Stock B initially means you are underperforming for the first few months as Stock A is actually earning a higher return). However, the real key is that if you assume markets are reasonably efficient (not perfect, but close) then you really don’t know which stock is going to go up or down going forward. If instead, you buy them both and the upswings/downswings cancel each other out. Again, this is an exaggerated example as you aren’t going to find stocks that move in perfectly opposite directions, but the idea is that you are illustrating the concept of diversification. My original idea had an amateur mistake in assuming we could KNOW which stock was going up and which was going down. After hearing the explanation and spending more time with it, the mistake was cleared up. Learning was done and I improved. Kind of handy a few years later when I found myself trying to explain these concepts to students!
Sometimes facts change. Consider 3-Mile Island, one of the bigger nuclear accidents in US history.
From 1963–1979, the number of reactors under construction globally increased every year except 1971 and 1978. However, following the event, the number of reactors under construction in the U.S. declined from 1980–1998, with increasing construction costs and delayed completion dates for some reactors. Many similar Babcock & Wilcox reactors on order were canceled; in total, 51 U.S. nuclear reactors were canceled from 1980–1984.
During the lengthy review process, complicated by the Chernobyl Disaster seven years later, Federal requirements to correct safety issues and design deficiencies became more stringent, local opposition became more strident, construction times were significantly lengthened and costs skyrocketed. Until 2012, no U.S. nuclear power plant had been authorized to begin construction since the year before TMI. Globally, the end of the increase in nuclear power plant construction came with the more catastrophic Chernobyl disaster in 1986.
What happened? One, there were flaws with the original designs, which have since been modified. Seriously, read this account on button design…yes, something as simple as a button design magnified the problem.
“Pinning the blame on the person may be a comfortable way to proceed, but why was the system ever designed so that a single act by a single person could cause calamity? Worse, blaming the person without fixing the root, underlying cause does not fix the problem: the same error is likely to be repeated by someone else.”
― Donald A. Norman, in “The Design of Everyday Things”
Second, the issue of climate change was not really a big issue at the time (remember, 3-Mile Island happened in 1979…forty-plus years ago), so coal was not seen as evil and solar, wind weren’t really on our radar yet. Facts changed, so our models of what is appropriate/inappropriate have also changed. One more quote from Adam Grant (seriously, you haven’t ordered his book yet?)
I’ve noticed a paradox in great scientists and superforecasters: the reason they’re so comfortable being wrong is that they’re terrified of being wrong. What sets them apart is the time horizon. They’re determined to reach the correct answer in the long run, and they know that means they have to be open to stumbling, backtracking, and rerouting in the short run.
Be afraid of being wrong! Ideas that stay in our head are fine…as long as they are not being shared with anyone other than ourselves. However, once we share them, we need to make sure that the ideas are correct. Be able to explain the reasoning behind it. Be open to debating — the idea, not the person. Learn why you might be right or wrong. If you’re right, it doesn’t mean you’ll always be right (“facts” change and get better over time…sometimes a long time). If you’re wrong, be open to being wrong. It’s not a slap against your intelligence (do you want a list of all the times I’ve been wrong…it’ll take awhile), but instead a nod TO your intelligence that you are open-minded and humble enough to admit you might be wrong. Which leads us to the next item on the list.
Be Humble
“Humility involves a willingness to accept the self’s limits and its place in the grand scheme of things, accompanied by low levels of self-preoccupation.”
Humility refers to accept that people are flawed. We can be over-aggressive in assuming we’ve made the right decision in the face of uncertainty and dig in to defending that answer. We can make a decision based on bad information or facts that have changed and refuse to give up on our view. We can want to defend our intellect by not admitting we were wrong. There are lots of ways in which a lack of humility can lead to problems.
However, the same article by Pelin Kesebir finds that humility helps people in multiple ways. Specifically, being humble can
Soothing the Soul — Specifically humble people are more able to deal with the potential of their own death because they see the bigger picture. Life/death is bigger than them and their biological line.
Excellence in Leadership — Being humble means admitting you were wrong. It means recognizing the contributions of others and being sure they are given the credit that they deserve. It means organizing the team/organization as one that is constantly learning and adjusting. These are all things that make leaders more approachable.
Higher Self Control — Humility leads to better self-control. We actually take the time to think whether what we are doing is right or wrong rather than just assume that we are correct and are going to bend reality to our vision. Doing the “right” thing is often better than doing the easy thing.
Leads to Less Prejudice — Being humble means that you are more open to the success of others, regardless of their race/gender. You aren’t tied to being owed things based on previous wins, your status, or identity. Instead, you want to recognize the success of ideas regardless of where or whom they come from.
More Helpful — Like the previous advantage, being humble means you want to see others get credit for what they contribute because you are less tied to your ego. Your value is not built or hindered based on the success/failure of others, therefore you want to see them succeed and will do what you can to help them accomplish that success. You see value in contributing your time/effort to their success.
There are other benefits of being humble. We also see examples where lack of humility and authoritarian control do a better job at consolidating power. However, rarely is that power something that builds a long-lasting legacy. Instead, it is based on fear of punishment and the power of rewards. Being humble is more likely to build stronger relationships that have a real foundation underneath, rather than the authoritarian fabrication.
Work on Your Empathy
This is the one I need to work on the most. It’s a weakness of mine without a doubt (what, I’m NOT perfect? 🤣🤣). That said, empathy CAN be developed. The tips here are from Professor Jamil Zaki, PhD in an interesting article on developing empathy.
Here is Professor Zaki on empathy:
It helps us see past differences and allows us to see others who are of a different race or a generation or ideology from our own, without the lens of stereotyping, prejudice, or bias.
People who experience empathy also tend to be less stressed and depressed, more satisfied with their lives, happier in their relationships, and more successful at work.
He also talks about the three components of empathy — cognitive empathy, emotional empathy, and empathetic concern. Cognitive empathy refers to trying to figure out why someone is feeling they way they are and understanding why. Note that it is not essential that you agree with this person, just understand where they are coming from and what led to the development of their belief system. Emotional empathy refers to just taking on some of that person’s feelings. If they are sad, that might make you sad yourself. If they are happy, that might make you happy. You are capturing their emotions. The final version of empathy is empathetic concern in which you wish you could make them feel better. It should also be noted that empathy is not always a strength. It can be problematic when dealing with people who are trying to establish dominance through power moves or helping one person at the expense of another. Empathy is tricky!
Strengthen Your Internal Resources — Here we are trying to be kind to ourselves. It is easy to look at a friend going through a tough situation and understand why it is hard for them. However, you need to offer yourself the same grace you’d offer to others. A bit of self-compassion is good for each of us in addition to others. So don’t hesitate to say “I screwed that up, but next time I just need to…” Be careful not to tear yourself apart for things you’d try to help others let go of.
Spend Kindness On Others — Having a rough day? Instead of pouting about it, do something nice for someone else. It can be a small act of charity or (better yet) something nice for someone else. Sounds counter-intuitive, but doing nice things for others can help reset our balance. Whether it is bringing cookies into the office or giving a compliment to someone who might also be having a bad day. These little acts of kindness are more likely to help reset our balance rather than take us down further.
Disagree Without Debating — This is a tough one. However, it ties back into the first message where we are trying to be correct rather than “right” (even if we’re wrong). Note that it is not important that you agree with the person’s point of view. It is quite possible (even likely) that you won’t. However, understanding why they have that perspective can help you have more empathy towards their view. Do NOT engage with people who are not open to this type of discussion though or disengage if they are not open to respecting your opinion. That said, listening and understanding why people have different points of view (say on tax rates, abortion, religion, etc.) can help us understand that people can have different points of view without being enemies. It is a bit of a lost art, but worth pursuing.
Use Technology To Connect — This is one that I struggle with. Our technology is SO powerful (take a second and think about what your “cell phone” is capable of) that it is easy to take it for granted. However, instead of engaging with 300+ followers on Facebook (I’m old…you’re probably using Tik-Tok, Reels, or something else), send someone a text. Do an audit of how you feel when you look at your cell phone. Are you happier, more frustrated, angry about something? Find ways to make your cell phone about connecting to others rather than isolating or getting into insult wars.
Praise Empathy In Others — Everyone loves going viral, right? Well, what if we made empathy go viral by making a point to praise it whenever it occurred? Pretty cool, right? Make it happen. When you see someone do something kind, make a point of telling them. Whether it is a private congratulations or a public congratulations, make sure to take a moment to say “Thank you!” Even if you aren’t comfortable with a public announcement, a quick thank you message in person or over email/text can make the person feel that what they’ve done was worthwhile.
Don’t Be a Jerk!
Most of the “advice” in this week’s column is not really that earth shattering. Instead, it is mostly “Don’t be a jerk!” That said, the reason it is important is that it is way too easy to be a jerk, even when you aren’t trying to. We get tired and snippy. We have a bad day and want to take it out on others. Something goes wrong at work or at home and we are feeling vulnerable and defensive. Not being a jerk is hard freakin’ work! And I’m being 100% serious about this. Take a couple days and audit your life (okay, that’s not gonna happen), but take a few minutes and think through your last couple days. Did you quickly go to the tips above (which are not earth shattering) or did you go to jerk mode? My guess is you did both. Many times, you tried the above, but when you are tired, grumpy, or feeling low you probably drifted towards being a jerk. Yes, happens all the time around here as well. The key is not 100% convergence (we’re all human and we’re going to mess up), but instead think of these as ideal behavior that we’d LIKE to accomplish and work TOWARDS doing them a little more frequently. When you screw up (it’s going to happen…A LOT), apologize and move forward. However, try to behave a little more open, humble, and empathetic whenever possible.